I always knew I wanted to be an actress.
Okay, not really. But kind of.
When I was little I wanted to be a teacher. Well, in my defence, when you're little, a teacher is pretty much the only job you know about, along with the mail man. And I didn't have a mail man anyway.
But when I was, oh, I don't know, 6 or 7, I was in the Christmas play at my church. And I loved it. The first year I was a sheep, and then an angel for a few years. Then I was a dancer. And then, I think maybe it was the year I turned ten, I played a Russian spy boss (I know, random, but surprisingly cool). I loved it, but I never knew that you could do it for a living. To me, actors were the glorified few who struck lucky and lived in mansions, far away. That is, when I actual thought about where T.V. shows come from, which I didn't do often. I was the kind of kid that accepted movies and T.V. as the truth, for the magic that it was, not going into all of the technicalities of it.
Then, when I was 12 or so, my mom took me to see 'Beauty and the Beast' live onstage. It was amazing, and I knew, from that moment, I wanted to do that. I could smell the make-up, feel the hot lights on me, and imagine myself singing the opening song, grinning all the while, doing the best thing in the world.
The next year I got into acting school and learned how to sing better, dance better, and portray a character. At the end of the year we put on 'Guys and Dolls' and I did my one line the best I possibly could. It was like I was on the surface of the sun, in complete euphoria. I loved it, and I knew, on opening night while I peeked though the curtains to see my family in the front row, that I had found where I belonged, and nothing could change that.
The next year, when I turned 14, I joined the production at the high school, and enjoyed every minute, even though I had no lines and no solos, and you could only see me in about 2 scenes. I can't even express how it feels to get up on that stage and feel everyone watching you. It's like- have you ever had a panic attack? Or had a moment of complete fear, or ran so fast you thought that you could fly? The adrenaline rush; that is all it is. The best feeling in the world.
I always figured that I would end up with a regular job (like a teacher) and do acting on the side. I always thought that it would be on stage, and musicals and such. But now, searching Missy Peregrym and Ben Bass, and seeing how they were... you know, Canadian, and not from L.A. or Hollywood changed my prespective.
I know now that I want to act on T.V. Not in a movie; I don't think that I'd like that very much, but I would love to do a T.V. series. I know that if I get a chance, I'll take it, even if I have to give up everything. And I know that I am so close to skipping university and moving to L.A. to become an actress. Sooooo close.
Anyway, I had to get that out there before I exploded.
Love,
J
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