You know how some people can sit there and just eat, say, peanut butter, spoon in jar? Or, a whole bag of 'Lays', or, I don't know, a whole watermelon or something.
I just found mine.
I had jam today, for the first time. For some reason, for the entirety of my life, I've been convinced that I disliked jam. And today, I wanted to eat biscuts, and all we had was wildberry jam, so I ate it. And ate some more. And, just now, I took a spoon and scooped some out of the jar. And ate it. And it was heavenly.
Funny how these things are, aren't they? Things we do, quirky little secrets that make us who we are, and you can tell if someone knows you well just by how many of these things they know.
Like, you'll know me really well, after this. 'Cuz I'm gonna list 'em, stupit.
I like cinnonmin and brown sugar on my oatmeal.
I leave the teabag in the whole time and drink it straight.
I only eat dry cereal.
I eat wildberry jam from the jar.
I always check behind the shower curtain when I go into the bathroom.
When I get afraid, I sing.
Whenever I get sick, I make 'Cup 'a' Soup'.
There are many more, I'm sure, but I can't think of any, and I need to go clean my bathroom.
Toodles!
J
9/24/10
9/23/10
I'd Lie. I'd Lie Until the Day I Die.
I haven't written in a while, and for that I appologize. I thought I'd write a poem off of the top of my head.... yes, I've been listening to Taylor Swift again, 'I'd Lie'. :) Here goes nothin'.
It hurts like a sucker punch
That takes your breath away
And it feels like a warm bath
On a cold day
It makes me blink my eyes
Everytime you come into view
Like I finally realize
That it's really you
Wow. That's awful. I like the first couple of lines, though. Yes, I'm all angsty today. I don't suppose that you know what it's like to love someone so much that it hurts so much, yet so little? Like- you love this person so much that even though you can never be together and they're with someone else, you can be genuinely happy, because this person is happy? Yeah. That feeling.
So if telling him would ruin his day, then I won't. But something he said, made me think that he knows- if he does, he doesn't seem worse off for it, so I'll leave him to it.
Anyway, if him knowing hurts him, then I'll lie. I'll lie until the day I die...well, sort of. I promised myself that I would tell him if he ever got ingaged. Just in case, because I could never live with myself if I let him go forever without him even knowing.
With these depressing thoughts I live you, thinking that I am pathetic. Oh well, maybe I am. I don't know. I don't really care what you think. If this is pathetic, then I like it, a lot.
Love,
J
It hurts like a sucker punch
That takes your breath away
And it feels like a warm bath
On a cold day
It makes me blink my eyes
Everytime you come into view
Like I finally realize
That it's really you
Wow. That's awful. I like the first couple of lines, though. Yes, I'm all angsty today. I don't suppose that you know what it's like to love someone so much that it hurts so much, yet so little? Like- you love this person so much that even though you can never be together and they're with someone else, you can be genuinely happy, because this person is happy? Yeah. That feeling.
So if telling him would ruin his day, then I won't. But something he said, made me think that he knows- if he does, he doesn't seem worse off for it, so I'll leave him to it.
Anyway, if him knowing hurts him, then I'll lie. I'll lie until the day I die...well, sort of. I promised myself that I would tell him if he ever got ingaged. Just in case, because I could never live with myself if I let him go forever without him even knowing.
With these depressing thoughts I live you, thinking that I am pathetic. Oh well, maybe I am. I don't know. I don't really care what you think. If this is pathetic, then I like it, a lot.
Love,
J
9/16/10
Story of My Life: Ditched
So I said story of my life again. Again, again.
Anyway, this time one of my friends is getting more bestie with another girl, and choosing her over us (T and S and I. I as in me.). Anyway, it doesn't really bug me that much, not as much as it bugs T and S. Why?
Because it's the story of my life.
My entire life my 'friends' have been ditching me for other friends that they like better. I don't know what it is; maybe I am just a sucky friend. So one reason it doesn't bother me is that I'm used to it.
Another reason is that I know she's not doing it spitefully, or meanly, or even on purpose. She just like spending time with R. I can understand that, and so I don't mind.
Anyway, I need to jet, so serve, protect, and don't be late for school (again).
Love,
J
Anyway, this time one of my friends is getting more bestie with another girl, and choosing her over us (T and S and I. I as in me.). Anyway, it doesn't really bug me that much, not as much as it bugs T and S. Why?
Because it's the story of my life.
My entire life my 'friends' have been ditching me for other friends that they like better. I don't know what it is; maybe I am just a sucky friend. So one reason it doesn't bother me is that I'm used to it.
Another reason is that I know she's not doing it spitefully, or meanly, or even on purpose. She just like spending time with R. I can understand that, and so I don't mind.
Anyway, I need to jet, so serve, protect, and don't be late for school (again).
Love,
J
Story of My Life: Model Student
So I said it again. Twice, actually.
But that's another story, for another post.
The first time I said it yesterday was when my shop teacher asked if I minded teaching the newbies. And, as he'd already told me to do it, I couldn't really say "Yeah, I mind. Now let me go play with the saws!"
I wish.
Anyway, I've always been that kid who teachers make stand up and show their work as an example. It's just something I'm good at, doing projects. I don't know why everyone is so proud about that fact. I mean, I'm good at following instuctions, so what? So nothing.
Anyway, maybe I'll write more later. I kind of have to go to school now, so I'll write the next post quickly.
Love,
J
But that's another story, for another post.
The first time I said it yesterday was when my shop teacher asked if I minded teaching the newbies. And, as he'd already told me to do it, I couldn't really say "Yeah, I mind. Now let me go play with the saws!"
I wish.
Anyway, I've always been that kid who teachers make stand up and show their work as an example. It's just something I'm good at, doing projects. I don't know why everyone is so proud about that fact. I mean, I'm good at following instuctions, so what? So nothing.
Anyway, maybe I'll write more later. I kind of have to go to school now, so I'll write the next post quickly.
Love,
J
9/8/10
'Cuz We All Just Wanna Be Big Rock Stars....'
I always knew I wanted to be an actress.
Okay, not really. But kind of.
When I was little I wanted to be a teacher. Well, in my defence, when you're little, a teacher is pretty much the only job you know about, along with the mail man. And I didn't have a mail man anyway.
But when I was, oh, I don't know, 6 or 7, I was in the Christmas play at my church. And I loved it. The first year I was a sheep, and then an angel for a few years. Then I was a dancer. And then, I think maybe it was the year I turned ten, I played a Russian spy boss (I know, random, but surprisingly cool). I loved it, but I never knew that you could do it for a living. To me, actors were the glorified few who struck lucky and lived in mansions, far away. That is, when I actual thought about where T.V. shows come from, which I didn't do often. I was the kind of kid that accepted movies and T.V. as the truth, for the magic that it was, not going into all of the technicalities of it.
Then, when I was 12 or so, my mom took me to see 'Beauty and the Beast' live onstage. It was amazing, and I knew, from that moment, I wanted to do that. I could smell the make-up, feel the hot lights on me, and imagine myself singing the opening song, grinning all the while, doing the best thing in the world.
The next year I got into acting school and learned how to sing better, dance better, and portray a character. At the end of the year we put on 'Guys and Dolls' and I did my one line the best I possibly could. It was like I was on the surface of the sun, in complete euphoria. I loved it, and I knew, on opening night while I peeked though the curtains to see my family in the front row, that I had found where I belonged, and nothing could change that.
The next year, when I turned 14, I joined the production at the high school, and enjoyed every minute, even though I had no lines and no solos, and you could only see me in about 2 scenes. I can't even express how it feels to get up on that stage and feel everyone watching you. It's like- have you ever had a panic attack? Or had a moment of complete fear, or ran so fast you thought that you could fly? The adrenaline rush; that is all it is. The best feeling in the world.
I always figured that I would end up with a regular job (like a teacher) and do acting on the side. I always thought that it would be on stage, and musicals and such. But now, searching Missy Peregrym and Ben Bass, and seeing how they were... you know, Canadian, and not from L.A. or Hollywood changed my prespective.
I know now that I want to act on T.V. Not in a movie; I don't think that I'd like that very much, but I would love to do a T.V. series. I know that if I get a chance, I'll take it, even if I have to give up everything. And I know that I am so close to skipping university and moving to L.A. to become an actress. Sooooo close.
Anyway, I had to get that out there before I exploded.
Love,
J
Okay, not really. But kind of.
When I was little I wanted to be a teacher. Well, in my defence, when you're little, a teacher is pretty much the only job you know about, along with the mail man. And I didn't have a mail man anyway.
But when I was, oh, I don't know, 6 or 7, I was in the Christmas play at my church. And I loved it. The first year I was a sheep, and then an angel for a few years. Then I was a dancer. And then, I think maybe it was the year I turned ten, I played a Russian spy boss (I know, random, but surprisingly cool). I loved it, but I never knew that you could do it for a living. To me, actors were the glorified few who struck lucky and lived in mansions, far away. That is, when I actual thought about where T.V. shows come from, which I didn't do often. I was the kind of kid that accepted movies and T.V. as the truth, for the magic that it was, not going into all of the technicalities of it.
Then, when I was 12 or so, my mom took me to see 'Beauty and the Beast' live onstage. It was amazing, and I knew, from that moment, I wanted to do that. I could smell the make-up, feel the hot lights on me, and imagine myself singing the opening song, grinning all the while, doing the best thing in the world.
The next year I got into acting school and learned how to sing better, dance better, and portray a character. At the end of the year we put on 'Guys and Dolls' and I did my one line the best I possibly could. It was like I was on the surface of the sun, in complete euphoria. I loved it, and I knew, on opening night while I peeked though the curtains to see my family in the front row, that I had found where I belonged, and nothing could change that.
The next year, when I turned 14, I joined the production at the high school, and enjoyed every minute, even though I had no lines and no solos, and you could only see me in about 2 scenes. I can't even express how it feels to get up on that stage and feel everyone watching you. It's like- have you ever had a panic attack? Or had a moment of complete fear, or ran so fast you thought that you could fly? The adrenaline rush; that is all it is. The best feeling in the world.
I always figured that I would end up with a regular job (like a teacher) and do acting on the side. I always thought that it would be on stage, and musicals and such. But now, searching Missy Peregrym and Ben Bass, and seeing how they were... you know, Canadian, and not from L.A. or Hollywood changed my prespective.
I know now that I want to act on T.V. Not in a movie; I don't think that I'd like that very much, but I would love to do a T.V. series. I know that if I get a chance, I'll take it, even if I have to give up everything. And I know that I am so close to skipping university and moving to L.A. to become an actress. Sooooo close.
Anyway, I had to get that out there before I exploded.
Love,
J
9/7/10
Don't Step On A Crack Or You'll Break Your Mother's Back...
Isn't it funny, what little quirks we have?
Me, for instance. I always check behind the shower curtain when I go in the bathroom, just incase someone wants to scare me. I bite the inside of my mouth when I'm thinking, or just really nervous. I never step on cracks, or tile lines. If I feel like I should do something, I do it, because I know that if I don't, there will be bad consquences. Not like doing my chores so I don't get grounded, but like washing my hands, even when they aren't dirty, because I have a gut instinct to.
I guess these little quirks are what make us interesting, and different, instead of all being the same. Mine are kind of like little superstitions. I don't know.
I guess that's it then.
Love,
J
Me, for instance. I always check behind the shower curtain when I go in the bathroom, just incase someone wants to scare me. I bite the inside of my mouth when I'm thinking, or just really nervous. I never step on cracks, or tile lines. If I feel like I should do something, I do it, because I know that if I don't, there will be bad consquences. Not like doing my chores so I don't get grounded, but like washing my hands, even when they aren't dirty, because I have a gut instinct to.
I guess these little quirks are what make us interesting, and different, instead of all being the same. Mine are kind of like little superstitions. I don't know.
I guess that's it then.
Love,
J
9/4/10
So I don't know what to write about today, but I realize that I haven't written in a long time, so I suppose I ought to get on that.
I'm at Samm's house and it is just after 8. AM. She is still sleeping, which is apparently weird for her, as she's usually up by 6, along with everyone else in this house. I kind of just got up, had some tea with her mom, and then took over her computer. But hey, so long as I have a screen in front of me, life is good. :P
So this morning got me thinking about things, and I've never said my age on here before, but I do realize that if I did, I'd probably be fine, as no one reads this anyway. All you know is that I am young enough to live with my parents and go to school. And I don't want to ruin the surprise for you, so I've decided to keep quiet for now, anyways.
I'm guessing that I could just call these my rambling, and as they've no point, I don't feel bad saying good-bye, as Samm's woken up. :)
Luff,
Jade
I'm at Samm's house and it is just after 8. AM. She is still sleeping, which is apparently weird for her, as she's usually up by 6, along with everyone else in this house. I kind of just got up, had some tea with her mom, and then took over her computer. But hey, so long as I have a screen in front of me, life is good. :P
So this morning got me thinking about things, and I've never said my age on here before, but I do realize that if I did, I'd probably be fine, as no one reads this anyway. All you know is that I am young enough to live with my parents and go to school. And I don't want to ruin the surprise for you, so I've decided to keep quiet for now, anyways.
I'm guessing that I could just call these my rambling, and as they've no point, I don't feel bad saying good-bye, as Samm's woken up. :)
Luff,
Jade
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